Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Brewers at Height of Desperation

The Milwaukee Brewers (65-66), after blowing a Major League leading 14th game in which they held at least a three-run lead, sunk to third in the NL Central standings after their latest choke job debacle against the front-limping Chicago Cubs.

Meanwhile, the St. Louis Cardinals, only two games back and now second place in the division, continued their steady and improbable ascension with a 7-0 thrashing of the Houston Astros on Tuesday night.

The Brew Crew also fell below .500 for the first time since April 9th--a mere seven games into the season. The Farley-Foley flailing dive has been headlined by a string of comedic struggles, largely starring a pathetic cast of the Brewers' top three starting pitchers, whose collective efforts have yielded a whopping zero victories since June 30.

But the Brewers and endangered Manager Ned Yost don't know schtick, and the breakaway table of this nightmarish slide refuses to slacken.

Truth be told, the beleaguered Brewers have the worst record in baseball's worst division during the second half--this, after such a promising 24-10 start that offered hope to the glass-half-empty fans of this perennial losing ballclub that hasn't seriously sniffed the playoffs since the Fraggle Rock era.

Epitomizing the wicked turn from good to bad is Chris Capuano's Reuban Stutter like disappearance from a once bright foray into the limelight. The ex-starter began the season with five straight victories before Judge Yost sentenced him to the dreaded demotion of bullpen duty after losing an astounding 11 straight decisions, a dubious franchise record.

Capuano, in one relief appearance, is 0-1 with a 7.20 ERA. Not too shabby, considering his 8.10 ERA in August.

Jeff Suppan's story mirrors Capuano's, with only a slightly less calamitous downturn. Sup (pronounced "Soup," as in, "After another ninth inning meltdown, Ned Yost wants to drown himself in a bowl of scalding hot soup.") is a comparatively respectable 8-11 with a 4.78 ERA in 2007.

Suppan, however, has also failed to earn a victory in nearly two months despite an impressive smattering of average performances.

Resident staff ace and oft-injured All-Star Ben Sheets, 10-4 with a 3.39 ERA, is the only Brewer in the rotation to consistently win games with effective pitching (in stark contrast to freshly injured foil, Clardio Vargas, who has a record of 10-4 despite a 5.04 ERA). Milwaukee's latest protracted slump can be traced back to the sprain of Sheets's middle finger on July 15th. Coincidentally, many fans' middle fingers have recently shown signs of life at the ballpark as hopes for an unlikely playoff appearance -- it would be the first postseason venture since 1982 -- continue to wane.

"It sure is a fantastic sign of support," Sheets, a native of Louisiana, told reporters with a confused look on his face.

Sheets is set to take the mound in game two tonight against the Cubs, but some fans are worried not only that the potential messiah's return falls into the category of too little, too late, but also that the leafy-weak hurler, with southern winds expected to be in the 5-10 MPH range, will crumble and flitter away in pieces, along with the Brewers' pennant hopes, in the lazy breeze during warmups.

"We just have to keep playing day to day," said struggling outfielder Kevin Mench, who is batting a mediocre .265 this season.

After a recent slump, Mench transitioned from his typical batting stance to one suggested to him by Willy Nervis, 32, whom Mench visited as part of his routine charity work at Cedar's Square, a center for the mentally handicapped located in downtown Milwaukee.

"So far no luck, but anything is worth a shot at this rate."

At batting practice, Mench tried out his new stance, carefully extending his right arm while patting himself on the chest with the left, just as Nervis demonstrated to him.

As the ball flew through the air toward him, Mench yelled, "Nuurrrrp!!"

He swung and missed.

And so, thus far, have the Brewers on the golden opportunity presented by their early season success.

No comments: