Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Calf Implants

Once Frisbee ends, I've decided to make a concerted effort to growing my calves to the size of artichokes. (You might be thinking, 'The size of artichokes? That's ridiculous!' Well, I'll be honest, I don't even really know what artichokes are. So there.)

I've long contended that my genetics precluded my ever obtaining calves an observer could see without possessing eyes with the magnifying power of the hubble telescope times two. More than one person has commented on my calves. Yes, people have actually examined my calves--a stranger even--and commented how small they were. This is how impressively diminutive these "muscles" are.

But this winter, I'm going to prove myself wrong. And if I fail, I'll just get calf implants and pretend I succeeded.

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